Recent events in my life have led me to an epiphany....
Dating. Dating is an enigma. Beneath all the bullshit everyone deep down longs for the fairy tale circumstances to arrive on their doorstep. Everyone desires to be sought after and be the star in their own romantic feature film... Love at first sight…he rescued, he swept me off my feet, and we lived happily ever after...blah, blah, blah. Let’s be reasonable here…ANYTHING “at first sight” is all superficial infatuation anyway. But don’t worry it’s not your fault. You have been “prepped” since childhood; we have been instilled with the idea of the perfect fairy tale romance. We are programmed to set unrealistic standards and inevitably to be let down. Thank you very much Walt Disney.
What’s really happening is that as we move into adulthood, we are swept into a relentless current known as the “dating pool”. Then, it’s sink or swim baby… Unfortunately, most of us end up wanting that “fairy tale” relationship so bad that we put our guards down and become too emotionally available for these overly aggressive dating veterans and end up hurt. I’m sorry to break it to you but you were an easy target for the cast-and-release program. Once released, it doesn’t take long to come to the “I have just been taken advantage of” “none of it mattered” realizations. Then with each realization we end up accumulating bricks to the wall that’s steadily building around us weather we like it or not. And these walls continue grow higher and higher with each learning experience. A subconscious defense mechanism to protect ourselves, that comes with recognizing the “games” they play, and from consequences of our own actions. In turn, we become so concerned with our own self-protection; we end up sabotaging the potential of a relationship and feelings that have finally arrived with someone of true potential. We’re so afraid to be hurt, that we deny the possibility of a reality in which we are actually happy. I’d call it self-sabotaging, but I guess that’s too dramatic. Vicious cycle... but it is what it is.
-Erika Saxon
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